Painting Flowers
by OutsiderRushheart
Summary: Sequel to "Turning Tables"; Logan is still insecure about his new relationship with Kendall so he tries to make himself seem like a terrible person while at the same time thinks over whether or not to take his father's offer. Kogan, slash.
1. Prologue

**Sorry for starting this so late; I was at an overnight camp for 2 weeks. Anyways, I'm super excited for this because I loved writing it. Again, thanks to everyone who reviewed "Turning Tables" (first fic to have 200+ reviews!) **

**Oh and FYI, I'm changing it to Logan sprained his ankle instead of broke it…just so the first date or whatever made more sense. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR**

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><p><em>Previously…<em>

"_Logan!"Kendall exclaimed, dropping down to help the brunette pick up his books. "I'm so sorry!"_

_Jo frowned. "Maybe you two should see the guidance counselor..."_

"_You two know about the play?"... "What about it?"_

_Mrs. Porter's smile widens… "I spoke to him after Kendall said he wanted to take and he's agreed to let you both in..."_

_Logan looks up. "Do I have to read the next line?"_

"_I had to quit hockey..." Kendall mumbled_

_Mr. Obregon keeps saying name pairs... "Logan Mitchell and Kendall Knight..."  
>"Great!" Kendall says, turning to face Logan, but accidently flicks his paintbrush at the shorter boy<em>

"_the Mitchell's don't live here anymore?" _

"_Not for about two years," Drake replies_

_I won't apologize, Logan decided coldly..._

"_You want me to be a jerk to you?" Kendall inquired... "Do whatever you want"... "You know I won't"... "I know"_

"_One day we were just at the ice rink, playing hockey, talking about everything going on in our live...I realized it"... "Realized what?"... "That I loved him"_

"_We're missing Tony"... "One of us should go check on him"_

"_Look, even if you were to mess up no one would care," Kendall stated... "What makes you think that?"... "Because you're really talented, Logan..."_

_Carlos smirked, took the pen from where it was attached, and scribbled something on the sign up... "Logan's going to kill you when he finds out you did that..."  
>"...You and Logan deserve each other...don't wait too long..."<br>Jo ignored him and questioned, "Will you help me?"... "Fine, but only because you're my girlfriend"… "Good, so I was thinking we could..."_

"_Hey, Logan did you-"... "Yes!"... Logan pulled Kendall into a tight hug..._

"_Hi, Harms; is mom out looking for a new job again, doesn't she know I've got it all covered"... "Yeah, and you're only working at Blockbuster as a cashier"…_

_... "Don't you get it?" Logan snarled. "Mom hates you, Harmony fears you, and I wish you weren't my father!"..._

"_Dani!" Logan exclaimed... "I can't believe you're here!"..._

_... "There's gonna be an incredible party for the end of the year at an amazing new club, wanna come with us?"... "...the talent show is on the last day of school... I promised Logan I'd be there"... "Logan won't care..."_

_Logan felt like the words were choking him as he said, "You went to that club?"... "You act like you don't give a shit about me!" Kendall spat..._

"_... YOU'RE THE REASON YM LIFE IS A LIVING HELL!" Logan closed his eyes then opened them again... "Don't talk to me, Kendall. I mean it this time…"_

_Her ton scared him. Something in her voice told him something wasn't right... Dani cried, "...Harmony, s-she was h-h-hit by a c-car!"_

"_Are you sure you want to go in there?" Dani inquired... "Yes..."_

"_Bye, Harmony," Logan said softly. "I'll stay strong for you"_

"_I need you to forget about me..." Logan said_

_After Steven left to help some customers, Logan received a text from Kendall: I can't forget about you ~KK_

"_Dude, are you sure about this?" Wayne-Wayne whispered. "Yes, Jo and I agreed to keep those two apart..."_

"_Logan! Wake up; we have to get out of here..." Kendall coughed… "W-what happened"... "That's not important now..."_

"_Kendall, go; I'll just end up dragging you down," Logan coughed... The last thing Kendall saw before blacking out was Logan being moved by the paramedics into the ambulance_

_Jo closed her eyes for a moment... "He really does love you, Logan..."_

_...their lips pressed together in a gentle kiss. When they pulled away, their gazes locked for a few moments before they reconnected_

"_Logan," Kendall says in a mockingly serious voice. "Do you remember what I told you at the beginning of freshmen year?"… "A life without risk is a life unlived," he grumbled_

_Logan, defeated said, "Fine; I'll post a video but if some creepy stalker comes and kidnaps me it's on you"_

"_9-1-1, what's your emergency?"... Jo hissed, "I know who started that fire a week ago..."  
>"Do you do this with girls too? Kiss them in the rain then scatter the flooring of abandon book stores with their favorite flower and spontaneously play the song they fell in love with?"... "Nope; this was specially arranged for you..."<em>

"_I'll catch up with you in a sec," Logan calls_

_Logan is slammed into a wall and his eyes widen when he sees who grabbed him... "Dad? What are you doing here?"  
>"You should both come with me to LA..."... "Leave. Minnesota. Now..."<br>"...We're both giving you until December to decide..."_

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><p>The day moved at a slow and painful pace; everything moving along methodically. It seemed almost unreal for Logan. It seemed like just yesterday that he was sitting in the tree house eating ice cream and throwing water balloons. It seemed like just yesterday he was helping the little kindergarteners paint the mural. It seemed like just yesterday when he watched Dolly's eggs hatch.<p>

And.

It seemed like just yesterday when he and Kendall broke up.

"We're here sweetie," Mrs. Mitchell's voice cut through her son's daze. Logan sighed and got out of the taxi. After everything had been moved out of the car and inside Mrs. Mitchell whispered, "Are you sure this is what you want?"  
>"Y-yeah," Logan stammered.<p>

His mother glanced at her son before going to check in. Logan walked over to the window and sat down in one of the chairs in front of it. Shivering, he pulled his jacket tighter around him. Logan reached into the right pocket and pulled out his cell phone...

_NO MESSAGES._

Logan sighed and gazed out the window. He watched as the snowflakes fell slowly. Kendall obviously didn't care about him anymore. What Logan really wanted to know was why. Why now was it that Kendall chose to give up? Seriously...Logan put his cell phone away and was about to move his hand away when he felt something. The brunette frowned when he pulled out a folded piece of paper. He opened it and read it over.

_Dear Logan,_

_I'm sorry. I haven't been fair to you and that fight never should have happened. It was stupid and I was wrong not to believe from the beginning. I guess I just wasn't thinking... I guess I just didn't want to lose you. And I can't believe you're really considering leaving. I know if you are then you won't forget to bring a jacket so that's why this note is there. So, I guess if you are reading this then... I love you so much and hope one day we'll see each other again. Not only am I losing my boyfriend; I'm losing my best friend._

_Love,_

_Kendall_

A single tear escaped, sliding slowly down Logan's cheek. The truth and reality of it all hurt. They were really losing each other. And Logan hated the fact that the last thing he said to Kendall was 'I hate you.' There was no turning back the clock now. There was no time to change his mind. There was no time for him to go back. Everything would be as it was...


	2. Klaine, Finchel, Kogan, Lentil

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR**

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><p>~3 months earlier~<p>

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><p>Thunder boomed outside, the rain pouring down fast; occasional lighting striking in the distance. A chilling breeze slipped through an open window. The strong breeze made its way through the house, traveling eventually down to the basement. It roused someone in the bed in the room. He got up and carefully limped out of the room and up the stairs. He located the window in the living room and closed it.<p>

"Hey Logan," a sleepy voice greeted. "What're you doing up its only four-o-clock in the morning?"

"Hi...Kendall," Logan yawns. "There was an open window, I was just closing it."  
>"Okay. How's the sprain?"<p>

"Mmm...Better."  
>Kendall nodded slowly. "The thunder woke me up."<p>

Logan wonders aloud, "Do you think this storm is ever gonna pass?"  
>"Eventually."<p>

Logan yawned again. "Hope so, the thunder doesn't sound distant; the storm may go into the morning."

The blonde snorted, "Nice." He shook his head. "Can you believe the first day of our senior year is tomorrow?"  
>"Yeah...let's both go back to sleep we'll have to wake up early," Logan said.<p>

The taller boy nodded in agreement. "I'll see you in the morning then."

After Kendall went back upstairs, Logan sighed and turned around so he was looking out the window. The raindrops landing on the glass dripped, leaving trails that blurred the outside world. Logan thought about his father and Mrs. Mitchell were in contact… and how they were planning to move the family out to Los Angeles. The brunette was hurt that his mother had kept the fact from him and shocked at their plans. Logan knew that although his parents were giving him until December, the decision was far too obvious in the end.

"What am I going to miss here anyways?" Logan mumbled subconsciously. He immediately scolded himself afterwards. There were all of his friends, the old playground, graduating...of course Kendall too. Right now their "romantic" relationship was on a bit of a low. Logan wanted to take it slow, still feeling awkward about how they- mostly just him- jumped from hate to love so quickly.

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><p>"Wow, can you believe it? We're seniors!" Camille exclaimed.<p>

Carlos added, "And now we're like...we're who everyone looks up to!"

As they continued down the halls to their new lockers, their principle's voice said over the intercom, "Welcome new freshmen and welcome back everyone else; please drop off your backpacks at your lockers then go back to homeroom. If anyone would like to try out for any sport's teams, stay after school."

Carlos asked Kendall, "You gonna try out for hockey again."

"Maybe," Kendall said. "Why?"  
>Logan frowned. "You really wanted a hockey scholarship last year but gave it up because we were supposed to be in the play."<p>

"Oh, right," the blonde exclaimed.

"You seriously forgot about that?" Camille laughed.

Kendall shrugged. "It's been a very complicated past year."  
>"Are you though?" Logan mused.<p>

"I don't know."

Logan stopped walking and gave Carlos and Camille a look telling them to keep going. He grabbed Kendall's hand and pulled him to the side. "You should," Logan whispered.

"But that would me being after school everyday... coming to school almost every Saturday..." Kendall muttered.

"You've always been dedicated to practicing like that," the shorter boy pointed out.

"Well...you're right; I am dedicated and right now..." Kendall's gaze locked with Logan's. "I think it's important for me to be dedicated to our relationship." Not caring about their fellow students, the blonde leaned down and pressed his lips to Logan's. As they kissed, Logan wondered if he could be dedicated to their relationship too. Things were so complicated now and the brunette found things hard to settle in with.

_Kendall probably deserves better, _Logan thought, _someone who actually feels one hundred percent comfortable with being with him. _

When they pulled away, Kendall murmured, "C'mon let's go to our lockers."

Logan nodded and both continued on down the hallway. Most of their friends knew they were together now which meant soon the whole school would probably know. That made things even more uneasy for Logan. He felt like that might put more pressure on the both of them.

"Logie, you feeling okay?" Kendall asked.

"Uh, yeah. Why?"

The blonde shrugs. "Ever since our first date you've seen kinda out of it." When they reached their side-by-side lockers, Kendall assured, "This is going to work."

Logan sighs, "How do you know that?"  
>Kendall put his hands on the shorter boy's shoulders. "Because we're going to take it as slowly as you want, and yeah we've been through a hella lot but... I-I know it'll work out, Logie I love you; and I just need you two have enough faith in me that you can give this a chance."<p>

The brunette's heart ached and he suddenly found it hard to speak. All he could do was nod. His eyes closed as Kendall leans down, lips connecting with Logan's again.

"Ehem, no PDA."

The couple jumped apart. "Ms. Porter," Logan sighed in relief. "I thought you were one of the Jenifers or something."

Ms. Porter smiled warmly. "Haha, anyways; I...see you two are doing well."

"Mmm, hmm," Kendall said.

"Well, I'm happy for you two," the guidance counselor exclaimed before walking past them. When she was gone, Logan took the slip of paper with the locker combination on it; Kendall doing the same.

"Hey, isn't it oddly convenient how our lockers are next to each other," Kendall mused.

Logan shrugged. "Could be a coincidence...or maybe the paranoid staff of our school still think we're fighting and did it on purpose."

"We're not fighting anymore though...right?"

Logan turned and gave his boyfriend a peck on the cheek. "Right."

A satisfied smile crossed Kendall's face. "Good."

"Huh, why do you look so smug?" Logan questions.

"What? I don't look smug, that's just my smile..."  
>"No it's not."<p>

Kendall raised an eyebrow. He finally concluded after a few moments, "You shouldn't think too much."

The brunette stuffed his backpack inside his new locker. "Think too much?"  
>"Yeah, just keep cool?" Kendall said, doing the same with his backpack.<p>

Logan thought for a second or two. "Hmm...Okay. Fine. Ill try not to let my over-thinking, over-generating mind take over any chill-vibes."

Kendall nodded. "There ya go, that's the spirit."

"Yeah, whatever; c'mon let's get to homeroom before all the front row seats are taken!"

"Oh no, wouldn't want that to happen," Kendall joked.

Logan rolled his eyes. "Just come on!" They both closed their lockers and Logan took Kendall's hand again and hurried him along.

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><p>As the first day came to a close, students made there way to the buses, some of them calling there parents to ask if they could go over anothers house or stay at school for tryouts. Kendall cast a reluctant glance over his shoulder to his former coach leading a group of guys with duffel bags. They were probably heading to the ice rink.<p>

"You're sure you don't want to try out," Logan said, walking up from behind Kendall. "I don't wanna hold you back."

The taller boy shook his head. "You're not..."

"Sure," Logan snorted. The brunette sniffs and walks past Kendall. His blonde boyfriends stops him. Kendall turned Logan around so they were facing each other.

Kendall assures, "Logie I'd tell you if something was wrong."

Logan's chocolate brown eyes flickered. "Promise?"

"Promise. And if something was wrong with you, you'd tell me too; promise?"

The shorter boy bit down on his bottom lip. "I...yeah, promise."

Kendall smiled and gave Logan a peck on the cheek. "What do you say we head home Logie?"

Logan took in a deep breath and nodded. _I'm already lying to you, _he thought, wincing. _I want to tell him...But I-I just can't! _

When they got back to the Knight house, Kendall and Logan went up to Kendall's room. Quite frequently now they would have jam sessions with each other. It was chessy, yes but it was _them. _First, Kendall began on his acoustic guitar.

"_Yeah..." _Logan sang before they both harmonized, "_Whenever you need someone to talk to, I wanna be the one you can run to; make things right, you know you can...call me; whenever you feel down and too lonely, you need a friend; someone who will come through, every time...you know you can...call me..."_

Logan sang alone, "_You know you're not alone, wanna let you know; everybody hurts sometimes...hearts are made of glass, the hurt won't last...it'll be alright; sometimes we're strong, sometimes we crumble; I'll catch you when you fall..."_

Kendall joined in with Logan, "_Whenever you need someone to talk to, I wanna be the one you can run to; make things right, you know you can...call me; whenever you feel down and too lonely, you need a friend; someone who will come through, every time...you know you can...call me..."_

This time Kendall went solo, "_A brother in the rain, shelter from the pain; let me be your safe place...I won't disappear, I'll always be here; when the love breaks; sometimes we're strong, sometimes we crumble; I'll catch you when you fall..."_

They both sang, "_Whenever you need someone to talk to, I wanna be the one you can run to; make things right, you know you can...call me; whenever you feel down and too lonely, you need a friend; someone who will come through, every time...you know you can...call me..."_

Logan sung, "_I know how it feeels to be broken hearted; fallin' apart is true...but you are the onnne who brought me back, now its my turn to be there for you..."_

"_Anytime you want now...you can, call me; anytime you need a friend...all you do is just say when," _Kendall continued, "_Yeah...anytime that you like, day or night; call my number..."_

_"_Whenever you need someone to talk to, I wanna be the one you can run to; make things right, you know you can...call me; whenever you feel down and too lonely, you need a friend; someone who will come through, every time...you know you can...call me..."__

For a few moments their eyes were locked. "Who do we think we are? Finn and Rachel?" Logan laughed.

Kendall removed his guitar strap and set the guitar down on the bed. He shrugged and joked, "I was thinking more...Blaine and Kurt?"

"You're a Klaine shipper?"

"Yes. And Finchel too."

Logan shook his head and smiled. "What would be called?"

Kendall shrugged again. "Kogan?"The brunette thought about it for a moment but before he could comment Kendall suggested, "Or Lendall."

The brunette chuckled, "Lendall? Ha, kinda sounds like Lentil."

Kendall smirked smugly. "Then we'll be Kogan then."

Logan nodded slowly. He thought for a little longer. "That wouldn't happen to come from the time when we were in 7th grade and everyone was coming up with couple names...would it?"

"I don't know, maybe it did...maybe it didn't."

Logan smiled and rolled his eyes. "Sure, Lentil."

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><p><strong>Plz review ;)<strong>


	3. Let's help kindergarteners!

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR**

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><p>The next day after school, Logan went downstairs to find his mom. She was organizing the drawers when he entered their room. "Hey, mom; can we talk?" Logan asked, closing the door slowly behind him.<p>

"Sure sweetie," Mrs. Mitchell said, walking over to the bed and patted the spot next to her.

Logan sat down and for a moment found it hard to speak. Finally he sighs, "Why didn't you tell me?"

Mrs. Mitchell frowned. "Why didn't I tell you what?"

"That you and dad were planning to move."

She took in a deep breath and let it out, pinching the ridge of her nose. "Logan you wouldn't have accepted it so I decided to wait...we both did."

Logan shook his head. "But I deserve to know things like this." He murmured, "Does Dani know yet or are you hiding this from her too?"

Mrs. Mitchell sighed, "No, Dani knows but she's old enough to live on her own so your father and I are letting her be."

"Okay...I have until December, right?"

"Yes."

Logan nods slowly. "Alright; fine." He stood up and walked to the door. "Please don't mention this to Kendall," Logan mumbled before leaving. Standing with his back to the door after it closed he racked his brain on what to do next. Logan had already gone over the positives and negatives but still couldn't come up with one legitimate reason to stay or go. "I need to get a glass of water or something..." Logan muttered, hurrying upstairs. The brunette rounded the corner to the kitchen and took a glass from one of the cabinets. After gulping down some water Logan went up to Kendall's room, startled at the sight before him. Things were scattered all over the place, bed torn apart (not literally of course), and...Logan entered slowly and saw Kendall rummaging through his closet.

"Geeze, dude; I knew you were messy but what the hell did you do?" The shorter boy gasped.

Kendall backed out and glances casually around. "Oh, this? Huh, didn't notice; I'll be sure to clean it up and stuff, but for now; I'm uh busy so...go do your homework or something."  
>Logan crossed his arms. "It's the second day of school; what homework?"<p>

"Oh, right. Knew that," Kendall said. "But, still busy so I'm gonna need you to leave for a few minutes."

"Why?"

"Cuz I'm doing something," Kendall exclaimed. When Logan only glared at him, the blonde moved closer to the shorter boy. "Please, this is...important." Kendall leaned down and kissed Logan for a few seconds.

"Whatever," the brunette sighed. "I'll be...checking up on Skyscraper Jr.; call me when you're done doing whatever is you're doing."

As Logan walked to town, he wondered what _that _could've been about. When the brunette reached the dirt mound and watered it from the hose connected to the side of one of the buildings. Logan knew it would be a few years until the seedling grew any more but he had enough patience to take care of it. After he was done watering, Logan sat down beside the oak. He wondered again what Kendall could be up to; and knowing the blonde it probably would get him into trouble. On the subject of Kendall; Logan was brought back to their first kiss...It was when he learned Kendall loved him. _What made me kiss him? _The brunette wonders, _I mean, I think all along no matter how much I hated him, I still cared...but was that why? Do I...love him?_

"Hey, Lo."

Logan snapped out of his daze and looked up at his boyfriend. "Oh, you're done now..."

"Yup," Kendall chirped, taking Logan's hand and hauling him up.

"What were you doing anyways?"

The taller boy shrugged. "I dunno."

"Really, bro?"

"Let's just say it's...it's for you; and I...can't tell you what it is cuz it's a surprise," Kendall babbled.

Logan rolled his eyes. "At least give me a hint."

"Uh...nope."

"Kendall."

"What? I want all of it to surprise you," the blonde exclaimed as they started to walk. "Surprises haven't ever really been your favorite things but bear with me," Kendall said, interlocking their fingers.

Logan paused, causing Kendall to stop with him. He turned to the taller boy, giving him an odd look. "Okay; who am I to question a Knight's plans on a surprise?" Logan sighed, finding it hard not to smile. He shook his head and gave his boyfriend a quick peck on the cheek before pulling him along.

"Good," Kendall exclaimed. "But I don't wanna go back home yet."

Logan gave him a sideways glance in which Kendall responded to pulling the shorter boy onward.

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><p>They had gone to the old playground and climbed to the top of the slide; this now being one of their favorite places where it could just be them two...most of the time; sometimes their friends would hang out there as well.<p>

"So, how does being a senior feel?" Kendall mumbled.

Logan shrugged. "Like I said before; it's only been two days."

The blonde nodded slowly. "Makes sense," he said. "Can you believe it though? After this year we'll be heading off to collage!"

Logan sighed and looked up into Kendall's bright green eyes. "Where are you planning on going?"

"God, I don't know..." Kendall admitted sheepishly, "I was so focused on getting you to like me again I hadn't had time to think it over."

The shorter boy rolled his eyes. "What am I going to do with you? Kendall, I get what you want to do but you can't let me get in the way of your life."

"I know..." Kendall whispered. Logan sighed again and closed his eyes as they connected their lips in a deep kiss, Kendall bringing both hands up to cup his cheeks.

"Well hey there!"

The two boys pulled apart abruptly; startled at the sound of Carlos' voice. They looked down to see him and Camille at the foot of the slide. "How are you two lovebirds?" Camille teased.

Logan snorted, "Great, how bout you two?"

"_Awesome," _Carlos exclaimed.

Camille laughed. "So, what're you guys up to?"

"Just chillin'," Kendall answered with a shrug. "Not that we're not we're not happy to see you; but, what are you doing here?"

"We knew you two would be here and we wanted to ask you a favor," Carlos said.

"What favor?" Logan asked.

Camille explained, "The kindergarteners were going to be painting a mural; and Carlos and I volunteered to help but we could use some help..."

Kendall glanced at Logan then back to his other friends. "When would we be doing this?"

"This Saturday," Both Camille and Carlos replied in unison.

"Whattya say Lo, wanna help out some kindergarteners?" Kendall said to his boyfriend.

Logan smiled. "Why not?"

"Yay! Thanks guys!" Carlos exclaimed.

Camille took Carlos' hand and pulled him away. She said over her shoulder, "Thanks again; we'll leave you two alone now."

"I think this'll be nice," Kendall stated when Camille and Carlos were gone. "I wonder what we're gonna paint for the mural."

"I'm not sure," Logan said. "But let's try not to get into a paint fight." The brunette smirked and looked up at Kendall again. Kendall sighed, remembering back to earlier that year.

"Hmm, no promises," the taller boy hummed. Logan laughed and playfully slapped Kendall's chest.

"Well at least try not to splatter the little kids," Logan said.

Kendall shrugged. "I'll try my best..." He trailed off as he got closer and closer to Logan until their lips found each other again, Kendall placing his hand on the back of the brunette's neck.

"Mmm..." Logan mumbled his eyes fluttering shut, his heart beating faster...he could feel the love and passion in Kendall and it made him ache. Logan hated himself. He just hated himself. Kendall needed someone to give that love to since Logan knew he was inscecure about everything...and that he could be; and probably would be leaving. The brunette's mind raced. Logan cared deeply for Kendall and knew the blonde _deserved _better. "K-Kendall..."

Kendall pulled away and murmured; lips brushing against Logan's, "Yeah Loges?"

Looking into Kendall's beautiful green eyes, Logan couldn't speak the truth. "I really really care about you."

"I really really care about you too..."

They kissed again; and while Logan still was thinking of his insecurities, Kendall was thinking about how he could make the shorter boy more comfortable. _I love him so much..._Kendall thought. _I don't care how long it takes him to feel okay with anything; I won't leave him..._

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><p><strong>Srry for the late update; I uh, started school two days ago<strong>


	4. Paint Fight part 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR or Wicked**

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><p>The next morning in homeroom, Logan took out his sketch pad from art class and began scribbling ideas and doodles into it. He writes the words, '...If I'm flying solo, at least I'm flying free...' then quotes Elphaba before taking a green colored pencil from his pencil bag; coloring the page and outlining the words in black pen. Logan sighs inwardly.<p>

"What's up, Logan," James exclaimed, sliding into his desk on the right of the brunette. Logan quickly closed his sketch book and glanced over to his friend.

"This isn't your homeroom," the brunette pointed out, sounding a little sharper than he intended to.

James frowned. "Logan, I know we haven't talked much you know because I've been hanging out with Annie, the Jenifers-"

"Nevermind," Logan said. "It doesn't matter, really."

"But I just wanted to know that I fully support you and Kendall."

Logan raised an eyebrow. "You didn't before?"

James shook his head. "No, I did. I just wasn't sure if you knew that I did."

Logan didn't give the taller boy one glance as he organized all of his books for the day. He asked, "Is that all? Cuz you're in Kendall's seat."

"Logan, I'm sorry; I'll try to make time for you, Camille, Kendall and Carlos..."

The shorter boy cut him off, "Okay. I know." Logan looked up.

James opened his mouth to speak but thought better of it and got up and left, shouldering past Kendall as he did. "What did James want?" Kendall asked, a bit of an edge to his words.

"He just came to say he was going to try to spend more time with you, me, Camille, and Carlos," Logan mumbled with a shrug.

Kendall sat down and said, "You think he meant it?"

"Probably."

Kendall's gaze moved to Logan's sketch pad that jutted out from the books ever so slightly. "Were you coming up with ideas for this Saturday?"

"Yeah," Logan said. "Well, kind of."

Kendall got up and before Logan could react fast enough, his blonde boyfriend quickly took the sketch pad. He flipped through it, looking at the shorter boy with a warm smile on his face. "Wicked?" Logan forced a smile on his face and nodded. The taller boy glanced over to Logan from his browsing. The brunette bit down on his bottom lip. Kendall asked, "This your favorite song? 'Defying gravity?'" He turned the sketch pad around into Logan's view.

"Oh, no. I just like that line; my favorite song is 'No good deed'," Logan said hastily.

Kendall shrugged and handed Logan back the sketch pad. "Loges you know we probably aren't' gonna paint the mural completely green."

Logan exclaimed indignantly, "I wasn't thinking of that."

"Whatever you say, Logaphaba," Kendall teased, sliding back into his desk.

The brunette glanced at Kendall. "_Logaphaba? _Really, Kendall?" Logan chuckled.

"Mmm, hmm."

Logan asked suddenly, "Would you hated me too if I was Logaphaba? If I was green?"

Kendall gave Logan an odd look. "Why?"

"Well; we're on the topic of _Wicked _and everyone hated Elphaba when she did nothing."

"Not everyone hated Elphaba. There were people who cared about her...you know; Galinda, Dr. Dillamon, Nessa…" Kendall's green gaze locked with Logan's brown one. "...Fiyero."

Logan's fake smile turned to a real one and both boys began leaning forward when someone stepped between them. They looked up to see a beaming Carlos.

"Hi, hi," Carlos chirped. "Camille gave me coffee cuz I was a little tired this morning so she gave me a HUGE cup of coffee and now I'm all hyper and man I feel good have you guys ever had coffee? Oh, there's the bell better sit down now before our teacher gets here!" He gasped out in one breath before reaching his desk in one bound. Kendall shrugged and quickly kissed Logan's nose before facing forward.

* * *

><p>After school, Kendall searched around for Logan so they could walk with each other but couldn't find his brunette boyfriend. He ran outside and when he spotter James, he rushed to catch up with him; grabbing his arm to stop him. "Hey, James; did you see Logan?" Kendall asked. "I can't find him, did he already head back?"<p>

"Oh, I thought I saw him sneaking into the auditorium," James said.

Kendall nodded slowly and couldn't help but glare at James with narrowed eyes. "Thanks..."

"Kendall! Not you too, I promise I'll try to make time for you guys!"

"Okay, I believe you its just...just force of habit I guess," Kendall admitted, half lying. "I'll go see if I can find him." The blonde veered around and raced back inside, slowing when he re-entered the building. Kendall walked down the halls until reaching the auditorium double doors, opening them slowly and stepping inside. He let his backpack slip off his shoulder as he headed down to the stage where Logan sat, his legs dangling over the edge. "You can still do it if you want too," Kendall said quietly.

"I know," Logan mumbled. "I've just got a lot on my mind lately."

"You say that but you never tell me what it is that's on your mind," Kendall pointed out, pulling himself up onto the stage next to Logan. "So tell me." Kendall wrapped an arm around Logan's shoulder, drawing him closer.

"Can't," Logan said hastily. "How bout you tell me your plans for me?"  
>Kendall raised and eyebrow. "I don't think so."<p>

"Then I'm still not telling you anything," Logan said, shrugging. The brunette sighed and leaned back into Kendall's chest. "I think I'll audition again...depending on what it is this time I guess...If I do you could be on the hockey team; we'd both be occupied." Kendall didn't make any comment. Logan sighed, "Seriously, Kendall."

"What?"

"I want you to try out for the hockey team."

"Logie, we already talked about this-"

"I mean it," Logan interrupted. _I'll end up leaving anyway... _Logan thought helplessly. _My parents gave me a choice sure; but if I know my dad…_

"Logan?"

Logan shook his head. "Huh?"

"Nevermind; I uh, shouldn't we be heading home?"

Logan mumbled his agreement and they both slipped off the stage. Kendall wrapped his arm around the brunette's waist as they retrived their backpacks.

* * *

><p>"Logie..."<p>

Logan looked up at Kendall. "Yeah, Kendall?"

"Tell me more about Dani."

Logan shifted in Kendall's arms. "Why?"

"Well, all I know is that she's your older sister who ran away to live in Seattle when she was eighteen or something," the blonde said. "Tell me about her personality, intrests, that kind of stuff."

"Dani...She was always independent, but very smart and she's everything you could want in an older sibling..." Logan explained as Kendall subconsiously ran a hand through his boyfriend's hair. "She was the only one of us who had a collage fund; my mom was keeping it secretly from my dad...Mom was going to do anything and everything she could to get Dani into collage which was hard considering Dani was homeschooled...She never did tell us if she applied somewhere in Seattle...Dani got a good job anyways. One good job, and one sucky one."

Kendall pulled Logan closer. "What would those jobs be?"

"Real esstate agent and, ur...I think she said waitress at a smoothie shop."

"I thought people had to go to collage to be real esstate agents."

"Maybe," Logan mumbled, shrugging.

Kendall kissed Logan's forehead and said, "Its good she has the job a least, right?"

"I guess...I miss her though," the shorter boy admited. The blonde murmured something that Logan couldn't quite make out. Kendall kissed along Logan's jawline. "I lost both of my sisters," Logan sighed distantly.

"Dani's not dead, she just lives somewhere else," Kendall pointed out. The shorter boy was about to comment when the door opened to reveal Mrs. Mitchell.

"Hey honey, you staying up here tonight?" She exclaimed.

Logan exchanged a quick glance with the taller boy. "You'd be okay with me, uh; you know, sleeping with Kendall?"

"It's Kendall, if it was some random girl I'd be furious," Mrs. Mitchell said.

"Okay. I'll...stay here then," Logan decided.

"Alright sweetie, good night," she sing-songed, closing the door behind her.

"Well then...she was suprisingly cool with that," Logan laughed.

"I didn't think you'd stay," Kendall muttered. "I'm glad you did though, Lo." He leaned down and pressed his lips to Logan's, the brunette rubbed his hands up and down Kendall's back. When the need for air was vital, they pulled away, resting their foreheads together. "I love you," Kendall whispered. Logan swallowed, and found he couldn't look his partner in the eyes.

Logan fought back tears and only nodded. He rolled onto his other side, out of Kendall's grip. Kendall starred at his back for a moment before, turning over too. Logan wished he could've said 'I love you' back, but something was keeping the words from leaving his mouth. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to fall asleep. Logan's back was pressed agaisnt Kendall's.

"I'm so sorry, Kendall..." Logan sighed softly, his voice filled with the tears he hadn't cried. He look over to Kendall to see the curve of the blonde's shoulders silhoutted by the moon. Logan made a strange whimpering sound and curled into fetal position. He was startled when he felt Kendall's arms wrap around him again. It comforted Logan but at the same time, made him ache even more.

* * *

><p>Saturday<p>

* * *

><p>"I am so glad you guys are helping us!" A middle aged women exclaimed when Camille, Carlos, Kendall, and Logan arrived. "I'm Miss Darcy; a teacher here," she said. "The children are all so excited for our dull old wall to be turned into a beautiful mural!"<p>

"Well, we're glad to help," Logan told her. "Just lead the way."

Miss Darcy showed the four friends around to the side of the school where many young children stood together; all holding paint brushes, varieties of colored paint cans scattered on the ground. "Children, this is Camille, Carlos...?"

"Kendall and Logan," Kendall finished for her.

Miss Darcy smiled and nodded. "I'll check up on you all later; thanks again."

A little girl with short brown hair approached them with wide-eyes. "Are you gonna help us paint?"

"Yep," Carlos exclaimed. "Let's get started!" He picked up a paint brush and plunged it into the red paint before charging towards the wall.

Camille rolled her eyes and grabbed another paint brush, joining Carlos. An hour past and the mural was so far splattered painted on one side and very delicatly decorated on another. Camille and Carlos had taken over one side and already had it faced the rath of Hurricane Carlos. Kendall and Logan's side however was neat and carefully detailed. Kendall used a smaller paint brush to add yellow petals onto a dahlia, Logan helping a few of the kindergarteners paint a litter of kittens.

"Hey, Logie; come over her a sec," Kendall said.

"I'll be right back kids," Logan cooed before walking over to Kendall. "Yeah?"

Kendall stepped back. "Whattya think?"

Logan smiled."They're beautiful; who knew you had such artistic talent."

"Honestly, I didn't." Kendall grinned and in one swift movement, painted Logan's forehead.

"Kendall! What did I tell you not to do?" Logan complained.

"I said no promises." The blonde painted Logan's cheek.

Camille and Carlos exchanged a glance and looked over. "What're you guys up to?" Camille questioned suspicously.

"Uh..." Logan cut Kendall off by painting his nose orange. Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, you paint me; I paint you back, aren't those the rules?" Logan challenged. "_Bring it_."

Kendall dipped his paint brush into the can and pulled it out. That's when Logan made a run for it, grabbing a paint can as he did. They both stopped a few meters away from the building. "You are not going to do what I think you are," Kendall said.

"Oh, am I?" Logan snorted, threatening to splash his partner in color. And he did...kind of. Kendall jumped out of the way just in time. "Oh crud," Logan muttered. Kendall chuckled.

"Oh yes. Annnnnnd, I still have my paint brush."

Logan ran again, but this time; Kendall caught up to him, tackling the shorter boy to the ground. Kendall turned Logan around so that he could look down at him. The blonde paused when their eyes locked. He leaned and the brunette met him half way. They kissed until they heard someone cough.

Kendall scrambled off of Logan and they both sat looking up at Camille, Carlos, and the kindergarteners who had been watching the whole scene play out. "Sorry," Kendall mumbled. He helped Logan up and they headed back to the mural. "Can we have a paint fight?" One of the kindergarteners asked.

"No!" Camille said.

Yes!" Carlos pipped up.

Logan smiled and shook his head, pressing close against Kendall as they worked. He knew his boyfriend meant what he said, and hated how he didn't say it back. Logan decided that if was going to try to get Kendall to breakup with him; then before that started, he could at least make their last happy moments last.

* * *

><p><strong>Bad chapter; sorry...<strong>


	5. Logan's Birthday

**OMG! I'm sorry this is coming so late. I feel like I say that too much. Lol. Where I live there was a very untimely snow storm and I had no power for about four and a half days-I was using my grandma's computer.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR**

* * *

><p>September<p>

* * *

><p><em>Logan leaned his head against the cold airplane window, vibrations lightly tickling him. Heart heavy with thousands of things gone unspoken. Mrs. Mitchell rested a tender hand on her son's knee. "Honey, look."<em>

_And there in its honing glory; was Los Angeles, California. Logan barley lifted his head as he lazily slipped his gaze to the kingdom bellow. Something pulled Logan out of reality and he was suddenly watching everything through a mirrored television screen-he was there, and wasn't there. Logan's eyes shut, no longer caring. When the brunette's eyes opened again, he was standing just outside the gates with his mom, one hand clutching his carryon. _

_"That was fast," Logan breathed listlessly. "I...actually don't remember landing or getting off the plane..." As he walked to baggage claim with his mom, everything became hazier and hazier. Most of Logan's mind slept in a lingering memory back in Minnesota. Like a ghost it remained with Kendall. _

_Kendall._

_Logan heard the blonde's voice somewhere in the back of his brain. _

_"Logan..."_

_An earthquake of sorts shook everything around him. Logan dropped to the ground. His gaze darted. Why wasn't anyone else doing the same?_

_"Logan!"  
>The air shattered, cracking as if it was a window hit by a baseball.<em>

* * *

><p>"Logan! Wake up," Kendall ejaculated, shaking Logan. "Logie!"<p>

Logan groaned, his eyes fluttering warily. "K-Kendall?" He suddenly jerked up from his dormant position. "What time is it?" Before Kendall could reply, Logan flashed over to the digital clock.

**9:30**

"We overslept!" Logan blurted, tossing back the covers. Kendall rolled his eyes and before the shorter boy could escape, Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist and hauled him backwards.

"Logie, relax; we're playing hooky today," Kendall declared.

Logan's eyebrow spiked up suspiciously. "What you talkin' about Ferris?"

The taller boy chortled even if Logan wasn't meaning to be funny. "Don't act like you don't know what day it is." When Kendall's only response was Logan crossing his arms, the blonde hinted, "It happens once a year; come on, I thought you were the smart-guy."

"Oh," Logan's voice sounded enervated as if it had drained his newly built up energy to figure it out. "Right. My birthday."

Kendall scowled. "You don't look too thrilled about it."

"We had a test today Kendall, you know I hate making tests up," Logan quibbled.

Kendall thoughtfully observed his partner for a moment as if he was observing a rare specimen of nature. He leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on Logan's lips. "I think you're going to change your mind."

"Sure." Then Logan remembered. "Is this going to involve that surprise you were working on last month?"

"How'd you guess?" Kendall beamed.

"Just a feeling." Logan sighed and was suddenly distant.

"Logan?"

"Hmm..."

Kendall took Logan's hand in his and pulled him out of the bed. "This is going to be your best birthday ever," the taller boy assured, dragging Logan to the closet.

"What makes you so sure," Logan said. It was a pugnacious question but sounded placating through Logan's voice. "Every single one of my birthdays has ended up disaster one way or another."

"Even before our friendship was on hiatus?"

"Yes."

The blonde crossed his arms over his chest. "Give me one example."

"Well. How about my seventh birthday- Carlos made the clowns mad by eating all their pies so they left and charged us triple," Logan challenged, "Or what about my twelfth birthday, huh? Jenny Tinkler set my house on fire! And my fourteenth birthday when there was a surprise blizzard? Oh and who could forget-" Kendall quieted Logan by pressing his lips to the brunette's.

"I said _one_ example," Kendall corrected. He nudged Logan over a bit before folding back the door and reaching in. Kendall grabbed his favorite green plaid shirt and gave it to Logan.

"What's...?"

"It may be a little big on you," Kendall hinted. When Logan only gave his boyfriend an oblivion stare, the blonde said, "I want you to wear it. Couples sharing clothes is one of the many rights of passages they must experience."

Logan made a small humming sound like he was trying to recall a song that everyone loved but always forgot the name to. "Why not. 'Bout everyone in St. Paul, Minnesota already knows we're a couple so what is there to loose."

"Good. Now find some pants and such while I take a shower."

"'Pants and such?'" Logan mused when Kendall sprinted to the bathroom in his room. _Hm. Maybe I should shower too. _He walked casually to the not completely closed door. "Hey, Kendall, I'm going to use the hallway bathroom shower," Logan exclaimed, peeking his head in. Both were used to seeing each other naked because of hockey...but it hadn't made Logan get a strange dizzying feeling before.

"Okay," Kendall said with a shrug.

When both boys had finished showering, they both ate before filing into Kendall's car and were off to a 'super secret location'. "Honestly Kendall, whatever you're going to show me I'm sure I've seen it-I've lived in St. Paul long enough to know every square-inch of it," Logan stated.

Not removing his gaze from the road, Kendall pointed out, "Same here. But no one knows everything about where they live."

"True enough," Logan grunted. He leaned against the car window like he did the airplane one in his dream. "...Uh, lemme guess. It's out of town."

"Did you not hear me?" Kendall said, making sure his sounded good-natured. "It's in St. Paul."

Logan reminded himself of his plan. The brunette did his best to sound abnoxious when he demanded, "Give me a hint."

Kendall briefly glanced over to Logan. "You've never seen or heard of it."

The shorter boy scowled. "That doesn't help."

"What's with the sudden mood swing?"

"Huh?" Logan said.

Kendall drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. "Forget about it, Loges."

_That obviously didn't work, _thought Logan. So he simply said, "Okay." His gaze slid over to the blonde and he suddenly yerned to apologize to him. But Logan couldn't. And the behavior would have to continue.

"Do you remember...do you remember that day we were playing hockey just you and me?" Kendall asked randomly.

"We've played hockey together alot, Kendall," Logan pointed out.

"Hmm. It was...in eighth grade; I think our last day of school." Kendall laughed softly, "You were destroying me..."

Logan felt a smile forming. "You weren't just going easy on me then?"

Kendall shrugged. "Nope. Anyways...remember how we collided and you kind of fell on top of me..." Kendall hadn't told Jo these details. "That's when everything inside of me came to life, I needed to have you-to hold you close."

Logan's dark eyes watered. "And then you decided you loved me." He exiled the tears away. "About two years later I decided I hated you," the shorter boy whispered in a barley audible voice.

"And now?"

The brunette leaned over in the passenger seat and kissed Kendall's cheek. "That answer your question?"

"Yes," Kendall exclaimed.

Logan glanced around. "Where are we?" They had left civilization and were now in deep woodland consisiting of sparse and pine trees. There were no other cars on the winding road.

Kendall blinked. "So you don't know where we are then."

Not thinking about his reply, Logan said, "Sure."

"AH-HA! So you don't know all of St. Paul!"

"No. Apparently not. Happy now?"

"Uh-huh."

* * *

><p>There wasn't any place like it in the city of . Sure there were the woods that Logan's trailer inhabited, but no place as clear-skied as where he and Kendall lay together watching the clouds drift by. Logan spoke of their memories from the past while Kendall made promises of the future. After a while of watching clouds, eating the food Kendall put togeher for a picnic, talking and (of course) kissing; Kendall checked the time.<p>

"1:00," Kendall annonced. "You wait here while I go get something from the car." He kissed Logan's nose before getting up.

Logan locked his arms behind his head, a deep breath escaping. _Let's see. Kendall hates judgmental people; he can't stand narsasists...which is werid considering we're both friends with James and he used to be with Jett. One of the reasons he broke up with Jo was because they argued..._

_"_I'm back," Kendall chirped, lowering down beside Logan again. He had his guitar slung over his shoulder and was now tunning it.

"Is that the suprise?" Logan inquired. "I've seen your guitar a million times, Kendall."

"I needed to get my feelings out without telling you them before," Kendall said as if he hadn't payed attention to what Logan said. "So, after that hockey game, and after we got home-I ran upstairs to my room, pulled out my guitar, some song sheets and got to work. I poured my heart out." The blonde made sure Logan was following before he continued, "I'd pull out the lyrics to tweak with them every now and then but eventually they got lost somewhere in my mess of a closet...I guess after we kind of split, I didn't bother searching for them. When I did however find them back in August-I added some more details." Kendall reached into his jean's pocket and pulled out folded paper. As he unfolded it, Logan noted the many pen marks. Arrows, words crossed out, words replaced, side notes; it was almost illegible.

"Why didn't you just rewrite it on different paper?" Logan wondered.

"That would've made it loose the affect," Kendall said matter-o-factly.

Logan bit his bottom lip and sat up. "Alright; go on."

Kendall smiled widely. "Just relax and enjoy." When Logan gave Kendall a weird look, the taller boy exclaimed, "Shut up. C'mon I know you'll love it." Keeping their gazes locked, Kendall began to play the raw notes that were beginning to once again come to life.

"_I promised I would be there, I swear I'm on my way; I know you may not hear me, but that's the price I'll pay," _Kendall sung. "_And I don't know; how I would, ever go, all alone walking on my own; like angels, you were floating to me and that's how it should be..." _

Logan's famous half smile appeared as he felt everything inside him flutter and bubble. Kendall strummed faster and sang,"_Cuz I don't wanna waste another moment, I don't wanna pay for things unspoken, I just wanna race with arms wide open; take a shot in the dark, to be where you are...I don't wanna watch the world keep changin', when I'm not with you my heart keeps shaking; I cover up my eys and just start pacing; take a shot in the dark, to be where you are...I promise you I'm gonna be there, I wanna be there; no matter what happens, no matter how tragic; because the clock is ticking, the world is spinning, our lives are passing us by..." _

And this time, Logan could not hold back his tears. Kendall found it was the same to him. Logan glanced to the lyrics and harmonized with Kendall, "_Cuz I don't wanna waste another moment, I don't wanna pay for things unspoken, I just wanna race with arms wide open; take a shot in the dark, to be where you are...take a shot in the dark."_

Kendall set his guitar over to the side with the lyric sheets and leaned forward, pressing his lips to Logan's. Kendall moved so that he was straddeling the brunette. "That was beautiful," Logan whispered, voice shaking slightly. The blonde caressed Logan's right cheek and rubbed small circles with his thumb. Logan grinned, and murmured softly, "Thank you."

"It's been waiting for you to hear," Kendall mumbled between sweet kisses. He slid both hands down Logan's sides until they rested on the brunette's hips. Logan brought his own hands up and burried them into Kendall's hair.

And just for this moment; Logan didn't think about leaving. He was somewhere distant and it felt as if nothing could break the trance. "I could...stay here...forever," Logan panted, breathes becoming more and more strangled.

"Me too Logie, me too," Kendall breathed, planting kisses to the brunette's neck. "But we're probably gonna have to leave in about fifteen minutes."

"Wait-why?" Logan shifted slightly under Kendall. "No-don't say anything. There's more."

Kendall leaned down again, moving his lips with Logan's for a few seconds longer. "Yes."

"Can't wait," Logan snorted sarcastically.

"You liked this though, right?" Kendall inquired.

The shorter boy's hands slipped to his sides. "Caught me."

His boyfriend smirked and gave him a peck on the forehead. "Alright! Let's go!" Kendall intertwined their fingers and pulled Logan to his feet quite suddenly. In his other hand he grabbed his guitar and lyrics.

"Right now?" Logan mused, reaching down to take the picnic basket. "I thought we had fifteen minutes."

"Yeah but it takes us about an hour and a half to get back to our house," Kendall explained.

Logan felt a shiver that was both excited and terrified at the way Kendall said, 'our house.' _Oh Kendall..._

* * *

><p>"Hmm, I wonder why it is so dark in here?" Logan exaggerated when he and Kendall stepped inside. "Hey, Kendall-can you turn on the light maybe?"<p>

Kendall chuckled. "Sure, Logan." He reached over to the light switched and flicked it on. Instantly the room was flooded brightly to reveal all of Kendall and Logan's friend's.

"SUPRISE!" They exclaimed in unison. Balloons were tied anywhere possible, and the coffee table held bowls with Logan's favorite snacks and drinks. Carlos, Camille, and James sped over to Logan.

"Happy birthday Logan!" Carlos squealed; him, James, and Camille all launching their confetti at the same time.

"Seventeen, how does it feel?" Camille laughed.

"Uh, great," Logan exclaimed. "Thanks guys."

James patted Logan's shoulder. "Well it is a tradition of ours." He gestured to Carlos, Kendall, and Logan.

"Maybe we'll throw a suprise party for you," Carlos said to Camille.

"Way'ta ruin the suprise if we were planning on one," Jo said, walking up to them.

Carlos blushed. "Ur, oops."

Kendall nodded. He said to Logan, "I'm gonna put my guitar and the picnic basket away..." Kendall whispered into Logan's ear, "And your song." Kendall took the basket and slipped past his friends.

"So," Jo exclaimed. "Did you and Kendall have fun?"

"Mmm..." Logan hummed. "Yeah."

Camille raised a mischiveous eyebrow and both James and Carlos smirked. "Oh really," Jo said.

"Wha-? Nothing like that!" Logan squeaked. "I swear! Seriously guys..."

"We weren't thinking that," James snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Nothing like that," Jo and Camille agreed together.

"Yeah we just thought you to were having se-" Carlos was cut off by James and Camille elbowing him.

"Not yet," Logan sighed. "We're taking it slowly." _We probably won't even get to that final stage, _Logan thought but didn't say out loud. _Wow, I've never felt so at war with myself before. _

"You call sleeping with someone taking it slow?" James inquired.

"How'd you know that?"

James shrugged. "Kendall told Carlos and Camille, then Carlos told me and I told Annie and Annie told Jo."

Logan threw his arms up. "How many people know about this?"

Changing the subject, Camille and Carlos both grabbed Logan's wrists. "C'mon, let's go crank up some music and have some fun!" Camille exclaimed.

* * *

><p>It was around 10:30 when everyone was gone- James, Camille, Carlos, and Jo had all stayed longer than the others. Various presents had been given out although Logan insisted that he was getting to old for things like that. Mrs. Knight, Katie, and Mrs. Mitchell planned to celebrate with Logan on Saturday considering they knew about Kendall's plan. When the two both had finished changing and washing up, they climbed into Kendall's bed.<p>

"Thanks again, Kendall," Logan whispered.

"So I did a good job?" Kendall mumbled.

"You gave me a song, of course you did a good job," Logan's eyes opened again and he turned in Kendall's arms so they were facing each other. Logan kissed his boyfriend's cheek.

Kendall peppered gentle kisses along Logan's jawline and down to the brunette's neck. "I'll do anything for you..."

Logan sighed and turned back around. "Goodnight Kendall."

"Goodnight Logan," Kendall whispered, snuggling close. Logan couldn't let himself sleep. He knew he loved Kendall but hated that...It was why he never actually brought himself to tell Kendall out loud. Logan would push Kendall away but in the end knew nothing could stop an emotion. Logan was aware of how they weren't exactly taking it slowly-what 'taking it slow couple' had make out sessions or as James mentioned-slept with each other?

Logan felt himself slipping away.

He felt the decison weigh him down.

Once Logan was sure that Kendall had fallen to sleep, he carefully slid out of the bed and headed downstairs to find his mom arranging her dresser. "Hey, mom," Logan said. "How was your day?"

Mrs. Mitchell stopped what she was doing and instantly bounced over to hug her son. "Happy birthday, sweetie-my day was great thank you; how was Kendall's suprise?"

Logan couldn't say 'incredible'. Or, 'I loved it'. So he said, "It was great."

Mrs. Mitchell smiled warmly. "I was going to wait until Saturday but..." She quickly retrived something from the closet-a white gift bag with the pattern of a blue bird on it. "Here."

Logan couldn't quite put his finger on it...was it the way his mother smiled so that her straight teeth showed; was it her eyes glimmering in a proud kind of way, but not for Logan for herself...Or maybe it was how she held the bag out a foot distant from herself like she was presenting something to someone she liked but wasn't close to. Behind his mother's beaming expression, Logan knew she had something to hide-or should he say, more to hide. Logan cautiously took the blue bird bag and peeked inside. He pulled out its contents and tucked the bag under his left arm. The brunette revealed a gray Harvard hoodie. When he had shaken the hoodie to unfold it, an envelope fluttered to the carpet. Logan leaned down and picked it up. He walked over to his mother's bad and sat down so he could put the other things down. The envelope had a vaugely familiar seal on it. Logan looked up and again saw that same expression. Logan opened the letter and skimmed it.

He swallowed. _This should be making me happy but god I don't want this._

_At least not now._

Mrs. Mitchell sat beside Logan. "Well, honey?"

Her smile reached from ear to ear and Logan reconized the expection in her gaze. The brunette shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe I got into Harvard."

* * *

><p><strong>Okay. My power came back Thursday so this would've been up yesterday but...uh I forgot...hope u liked this<strong>


	6. Extremely Wise, Incredibly Stupid

**Sorry it took so long for me to update, I hope you haven't given up on this story! **

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR**

* * *

><p>"I have to talk to him..." Logan debated as he paced through the art room. "But I can't, but I have to! Ugh! Kendall is so sweet and amazing and I'm not giving him half of what he deserves; but I'll kill him if I break up with him but then again I'll just have to because did I really have a choice when my dad gave me it; oh! That leads to my second point! My dad sent in my Harvard application when they weren't even suppose to see that, I was ranting in it, it was one of those letters you write but never send and now I'm in and I'm even gonna be able to pay; GAH! What was he thinking?" The brunette paused and turned around. "Are you following this?"<br>Jo's jaw hung open and her head rested on one side. She gradually closed her mouth, soft brown eyes thoughtful. "I think...I think you just need to tell Kendall," Jo finally proposed. "As for your father; you need to talk to him too if you want to get any further with that."

Inwardly, Logan was relieved Jo didn't mention anything about his relations with his father. More importantly, his family's financial issues. "But what if after I speak with Kendall he's disappointed and will think I still hate him...a-and my mom divorced my mom my dad for a reason, I don't think I feel comfortable going into _that _alone."

"Then take Kendall with you..." Jo bit her bottom lip. "If he...uh you know, is cool with you after talking to him about...I'll just shut up now."

"No..." sighed Logan, "Thanks. Really."  
>Jo nodded and glanced around as if to find an escape. "Why did you ask me for help? I mean, after what I did if I were you I'd want nothing to do with Jo Taylor," Jo said.<p>

"I just needed someone to talk to who would...have a different opinion," Logan explained lamely. "Scratch that; I already knew you would tell me the same thing anyone else would it's just...I kinda want to forgive you. I want to try to be able to forgive you at least."

"Thank you..." She said softly. "I'm sorry I couldn't think of a better idea to give you."

"S'okay," Logan muttered. There was more he wanted to say, but it was...well, it was one of those things where you desperately wanted to say something about it but couldn't because you knew it would end with people hating you.

"Is your leg or whatever healing well?" Jo inquired.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah," Logan sighed.

Jo nodded to confirm. She looked around the art room, taking in the paintings hung on the walls. "Are any of these yours?" Jo asked.

"Hmm? Uh..." Logan strode over to the door and pointed to the painting above. It was of a scenic outlook of a frozen lake in Minnesota. The colors were a blend of varying shades of blues and grays. "Did that in freshmen year."

"Don't you want it back?"

"Nah. Well maybe before I graduate I'll want it," the brunette. "Ms. Donnelly said it was 'the best piece she'd ever seen so far'..."

"It looks like a photograph," Jo gasped. "Wow. First you surprised everyone with your singing, now this!"

"Thanks," Logan said. The brunette didn't move. He knew the positive feedback of his painting but he couldn't find any depth in it now. In this type of media, depth was everything. No depth and you're guaranteed failure. That's what Ms. Donnelly had told them. She also told them, that true strength in artwork came from someone with imagination. It didn't matter if you planed on being the next Picasso or not, that was what you needed.

Logan knew his imagination was a puddle of melted Popsicle. Even as a child, it wasn't much. Even before the Kendall incident, all day long his face was shoved into a book; his mind locked on to studying all night. Kendall, James, and Carlos were the only ones who could really ever pull him into 'having fun like a normal kid.' Logan wouldn't deny he loved being with his friends. One day, they had planned on dragging him on a plane to Bali to go 'soul searching'. And right now, Logan needed something like that.

"What are you thinking about?" Jo mused, walking over to Logan so that she was at his side.

"How I need to find myself," Logan replied.

"Logan...we're teenagers; heck, a bunch of us are eighteen. _Adults. _This is where our lives begin. Right here. It all started the moment we walked through the doors of Minnesota High four years ago." Jo glanced once over at Logan, then back up to the painting. "As teenagers, we have to deal with a hell of a lot of drama. As teenagers we are going to have highs, and lows. But, we learn. We learn and apply that to our life when our parents and friends can't always be there to support us." The blonde haired girl ran her fingers through the light strands. "To think though; popularity will mean nothing in life. Nothing. And we're _so _obsessed with popularity these days...everything will melt away and you'll be left to fend on your own, and because you spent all your time climbing to the top...you've learned nothing and you'll be lost."

Logan had remained quiet, taking in what Jo was telling him. The brunette let out a long breath. "And...that person. Who wanted popularity...was it you?"

"It is me," Jo admitted. "I was lost, maybe still lost. Just a little. It took Jett's little stunt to break through to me. It took _you _to break through to _me_." There was a tear that had escaped, sliding down her cheek.

Again, Logan was muted. They watched his painting as if it were to begin to move. Logan sighed again and faced Jo. "Is it just me, or do you feel like we're in one of those teen angst shows?" In response, Jo smiled. Logan reached out and rested his hand on Jo's right shoulder, gently turning her. "You're wise, Jo. More so, than I'd ever want to admit. More than you'd want to think, hmm?" Logan didn't wait for an answer. "But you're wrong. You didn't need Jett, or me to know that there is more to you than a girl seeking popularity. Jo. Let me just say, you never came off to me as the type of girl who needed popularity to know she was amazing."

Jo swallowed, another tear falling. "You...think _I'm_...amazing?"

"Yeah. Jo, don't take any of offense to this; but you can be really stupid sometimes."

She laughed softly, "Thanks, Logan."

* * *

><p>A week had passed-and Logan still refrained from talking to his dad of Kendall. But, for all Jo knew; Logan had. And he didn't feel like disappointing her. Yet...<p>

Another thing Logan refrained from telling Kendall specifically, was that he got into Harvard in the first place. Looking back now, Logan was a first-class liar. No one would have guessed it. Well, Kendall knew most of his secrets now. But, if you were to be an everyday passerby, you'd assume Logan was a genuine, sensitive guy who had nothing to hide. You'd be wrong. Very wrong.

"Logan, you wanna head down to the playground?" Kendall asked, closing his locker door.

"Uh. Sure," Logan agreed, pulling his Latin book out and placing it in his backpack. He zipped the pack and closed his own locker. "Let's go," the shorter boy exclaimed. Kendall smiled softly and took Logan's hand, squeezing it gently; they walked down the halls to the front doors. Next to them, Jo talked with a girl the two boys' didn't recognize. Logan released Kendall's hand and herded him towards them.

"Hey, Jo," Kendall greeted gruffly. "Who's this?"  
>"Hi guys. This is Lucy Stone," Jo introduced. "She just moved here and I'm going to give her a tour of the school."<p>

Lucy's straight dark hair streaked with scarlet highlights fell in front of her eyes and she brushed the strands behind her ears to reveal lucid brown eyes. "Hey..." She said.

"Hi," Logan welcomed, "I'm Logan and this is Kendall."

Kendall added, "Hope you like Minnesota; where'd you move from?"

"Los Angeles," Lucy answered.

Logan suddenly stiffened. He swallowed, finding it hard to breathe. Los Angeles. Where his father wanted him to move. "How is there?"

"Warmer. Definitely. I'm glad I'm getting out of the Hollywood craziness though," Lucy admitted.

"I see," Kendall said astutely, "It was nice meeting you."

"I'll see you two around," Lucy said. She and Jo headed off, Jo waving to them over her shoulder as they left.

Kendall, who had noted Logan's reaction towards Lucy's hometown, gave his boyfriend an odd look. "Do you not like California?" The blonde inquired mildly.

"Oh, no. I heard it's a...a great place. I mean, celebrities love it there," Logan reasoned.

Kendall shrugged doubtfully but didn't say anything more. The two reached the playground and climbed to there normal spot at the top of the slide. Logan rested his head against Kendall's chest, one of the taller boy's arms around the brunette's body; the other, resting casually on Logan's hip. Kendall asked, "How was your day, Logan?"

Logan blinked and glanced up at Kendall. "What?"

"How was your day?"

He nodded slowly. "How was my day?"

Kendall rolled his eyes. "Yes. Are you doing that on purpose?"

Logan frowned. He wasn't sure if keeping this up would annoy Kendall, or if he'd find it cute. Logan sighed, "Great. My day was great."

"Pissy are you?" The blonde mused. Logan grunted and leaned forward, locking lips. Kendall's arms braced tighter around the brunette and he pulled him closer. The blonde leaned his forehead against Logan's and said in a soothing voice, "But seriously; how are you?"

"The way I usually am."

"So you're good, right?"

"Oh...what do you think?" Logan mumbled. The brunette pushed his lips to Kendall's again, allowing it to last until they could hardly breathe. Logan kissed the corner of his boyfriend's mouth before looking back into those intense green eyes. "I'm a high school senior," Logan whispered with a shrug.

Kendall glanced around. "Huh? Um, am I supposed to know what that means?"

"You _are _one too, so...basically." Logan scooted back so his back was pressed to the structure of the top of the slide. "Alright. What is it for you to be a teenager going on adult?"

Kendall breathed in, held it, and then let it out. "Honestly? Terrifying. But also electrifying...thrilling in a sense. You know what I mean?"

"Guess so," Logan sighed.

"Why did you go all _Breakfast Club _on me?" Kendall inquired teasingly.

Logan snickered. "I don't know. Life. It's been...wow."

"Tell me about it."

The two boys didn't talk anymore. Instead, Kendall leaned forward once more and they continued to kiss. After a few minutes had passed, the pair headed home.

"Where have you two been?" Ms. Knight asked as they walked in the door.

"The old playground making out," Katie answered for them.

Kendall gasped, "No!" His mom and sister gave him 'the look' and he sighed, "Okay, yeah."  
>"Called it," Katie stated.<p>

"I'm sure you two have homework, so get to it," Ms. Knight ordered.

Logan nodded. "On it; c'mon, Kendall." Before Ms. Knight could protest, the two boys hurried upstairs together. Kendall closed the door behind them and Logan plopped himself down on Kendall's bed as he pulled out his textbooks. He opened his agenda.

"Alright; we have an essay on the Three-Fifths Compromise...uh...we've to come up with ten motifs...write five paragraphs on Anne Frank...study for the test on logarithms…there's that chemicals quiz..."

"Ugh..."

Logan snorted, "What?"

"That's all due tomorrow?" Kendall whined.

"The logarithm test is next Friday and the Anne Frank paragraphs are due Monday. Everything else is for tomorrow," Logan explained.

Kendall groaned, "Seriously?"

"Seriously; now unless you want to fail..."

"Okay-but I think we have way too much homework."

"Could be worse."

"True."

Kendall and Logan worked in silence for an hour or so until Ms. Knight called them down for dinner.

Logan set his pencil aside and flexed his fingers, grimacing at the calluses that were starting to form. "God...how much did you get done?"

"Not even half way through the Three-Fifths Compromise...and...Got two motifs done," Kendall sighed.

"Ah...Are your hands killing you too?"

"Uh-huh."

"Kendall! Logan!" Called Ms. Knight.

"Coming, mom!" Kendall called back. "We're gonna be up all night, aren't we?" He said to Logan as they headed downstairs.

"Maybe. We'd have more time if we weren't kissing for so long," Logan pointed out."

"You weren't complaining."  
>Logan pulled on a tight smile. "Well, I am now."<p>

Kendall frowned at his boyfriend's words but didn't counter them. Honestly, he wasn't sure what to really feel about Logan's on and off snide behavior. Kendall would still always love Logan but the behavior was getting irritating.

* * *

><p>Kendall and Logan ended up both going to sleep sometime around midnight or one. Logan was well asleep when...<p>

_Help!_

_I need somebody_

_Help!_

Logan practically jumped out of bed and Kendall yelped, startled, he fell to the floor with a loud 'THUMP!' Logan swallowed and reached over to the bedside table and answered his phone.

"What? Who is this? Why are you calling at this hour?" Logan hissed.

"It's me, Jo."

"Jo?" Logan mused.

"Jo?" Kendall repeated, hauling himself back onto the bed. "What does Jo want?"

Logan shushed him before asking the blonde girl, "Why are you calling?"

"Well. I was lying in bed awake, when I started thinking..."

Logan yawned, "Yeah?"

"You didn't Kendall yet...did you?"

"Busted, huh? And you called me to tell me that?" The brunette inquired.

"Yes. And no." Her voice started sounding increasingly excited. "Tonight...guess what?"

"What, Jo?"  
>"My found out that my dad can visit!"<p>

Logan remembered Jo telling him and the others once that her dad was marine. He also recalled how she loved her father and hated that she couldn't see him. Logan was happy for Jo but couldn't ignore the sting. He couldn't deny the jealously he felt for the relationship between Jo and her father while he was stuck with his miserable excuse of a dad.

"That's awesome," Logan exclaimed, trying his best to be genuinely glad.

Kendall, who was watching Logan carefully, questioned, "What's awesome"

Logan shushed Kendall again. "So, why'd you tell me first?" He asked Jo. "I would've guessed you'd call Camille."

"Camille's been texting Carlos all night," Jo said.

"Hmm. Nice."

"I know right? They are adorable together," she sighed. "So are you and Kendall."

"Thanks," Logan said, "And congratulations on your dad visiting."

Kendall blinked and sat up slightly. "Jo's dad is visiting?"

Logan rolled his eyes and nodded and to Jo, added, "Hey, Jo; do you wanna talk to Kendall, I mean he's been _very _interested in this conversation."

"Oh, I don't think that'd be a good idea if we talked," Jo replied quickly.

"Shouldn't you try being better friends with him again?"

"Yeah, but...not now."

"Okay; goodnight Jo."

"Night, Logan."

The brunette hung up, turned his phone off and set it back down on the side table again. "Jo's dad is visiting?" Kendall repeated.

"Yeah, Kendall; he is," Logan huffed.

"She...didn't want to talk to me?"

"She didn't want to talk to you because she was sure it'd be a bad idea...considering, I think, that you wouldn't want to talk to her."

Kendall slipped further under the sheets. "Okay then."

"You're not still mad?" Logan inquired, following the blonde's actions.

"Not as much," Kendall admitted. "You?"

"Obviously not," grunted Logan.

"Right..." Kendall mumbled. He pecked the shorter boy's nose before rolling onto his side so his back was to Logan.

Logan, feeling as if he needed to say something to Kendall, hesitated to reach out his hand and turn him around. To speak with him more...To do what he told Jo he would. But something inside of Logan that made him feel empty kept him from speaking. The brunette swallowed the words that were beginning to float up; and leaned forward, planting a kiss to the back of Kendall's neck before he too flipped to his other side.

"Logie..." Kendall sighed.

"Yes, Kendall?" Logan asked in half-hearted aggravation. Then he was wrapped in Kendall's arms, instantly warmed by the embrace. "Can I help you?" Logan grumbled.

"Yes. Actually. Go to sleep."

"I was about to," Logan lied.

"Sure you were," Kendall murmured, nuzzling his face into the crook of Logan's neck. "Goodnight, Lo."

"Mmm..." Logan said, falling slowly into sleep. He frowned when there was a sudden wetness to his skin. Was Kendall crying or something? Logan released one last sigh. He turned again and pressed his lips to Kendall's, filling the kiss with as much passion as he could.

When they pulled away, the moonlight illuminating through the window shone off of tears that slipped down the taller's cheeks. Kendall asked breathlessly, "What was that?"

"Ur, nothing..." Logan muttered, reaching up to dry Kendall's face.

"Nothing? You sure about that?"  
>"One hundred percent. Why were you crying?"<p>

Kendall bit his bottom lip. "I'm just happy for Jo."

Logan mocked, "You sure about that?"

"No..." Kendall confessed. "I just...I just want..."

"Yes?"

"I just want you to love me."

Logan's heart practically stopped. His bottom lip trembled ever so slightly. And he turned his back to Kendall for the last time.

* * *

><p>"Have you seen Kendall?" Logan inquired to Camille as the school day ended. All day long Kendall had been avoiding any eye contact with Logan. They didn't talk much and now Logan couldn't find his boyfriend to walk home with.<p>

_Seriously, aren't I supposed to be the one getting him to break up with me? _Thought Logan, _No, that's selfish; you care for Kendall and should find him._

"Of course, and you haven't? I don't know, aren't you two dating, hmm?" Camille said teasingly as the two went outside. Carlos with his back to the flagpole and when he saw his friend and girlfriend, he waved his hand rapidly back and forth. "Check the auditorium. You should know by now to check there," she giggled. Camille sprinted over to Carlos and waved once more to Logan before she and her boyfriend walked away together.

Logan followed Camille's advice and went to the location where they preformed the musical that was the beginning of their friendship rebirth. Logan caught sight of Kendall sitting on the edge of the stage and the brunette could very faintly hear him singing.

"_Strange maze, what is this place? I hear voices over my shoulder; nothing's makin' sense at all…wonder, why do we race? When everyday we're runnin' in circles; such a funny way to fall...Tried to open up my eyes, I'm hopin' for a chance to make it all right...when I wake up, the dream isn't done; I wanna see your face and know I've made it home...If nothing is true, what more can I do? I am still painting flowers for you..." _

Logan's breath was shakey as he noted the mix of pain and passion in Kendall's voice. He sat in the farthest seat as Kendall continued, "_Holdin' my clutch, even my heart; wish we could start all over; nothing's making sense at all... Tried to open up my eyes, I'm hopin' for a chance to make it all right...when I wake up, the dream isn't done; I wanna see your face and know I've made it home...If nothing is true, what more can I do? I am still painting flowers for you...I heard everything you said, I don't wanna lose my head... I wanna see your face and know I've made it home... If nothing is true, what more can I do? I am still painting flowers for you; I am still painting flowers for you..."_

It was 'their' song. _Ugh, he's giving me guilt, _Logan thought egoistically, and then replaced the reflection with a, _oh but he's so disappointed after trying so hard to... _"Kendall!" Logan exclaimed, getting up and hurrying down to his boyfriend.

"Hey..." Kendall grumbled.

"It's Friday and you're sitting here in school?" Logan said quietly. "Are you feeling okay?"

Kendall shrugged. "No, I just needed to take a moment to exhale a bit."  
>"By singing?"<p>

"Yes, Logie; by singing."

"Nice call. Very high school musical esc," Logan taunted.

"Don't pretend like you don't love it," Kendall mocked back.

Logan smiled sadly, recalling the ton of Kendall's voice earlier. "So do you wanna go see a movie or something?"

Kendall sighed and shook his head. "We have to go check up on Skyscraper Jr. don't we?"

"Kay..." Logan agreed. He fell back slightly when Kendall retrieved his backpack. In his brain what he originally wished to achieve grew closer and Logan knew he should've been pleased with that; his heart however was furious at what he was doing to Kendall. Literally, he was one step away from being another Jade West and who wanted that?

* * *

><p><strong>Have u guys seen the interview where Kendall drew that ocean abstract? It was VERY Kogan-shippy and if you haven't seen it, I'll direct you to it =)<strong>

**Also-chapter title credits to the book/movie: _Extremly Loud, Incredibly Close; _I heard it was amazing and I want to see it some time**


End file.
